Did you know that emotions are a very real thing? And you can choose them? And tools exist to help you do just this when it feels impossible?
I didn't. For many, many years I didn't understand this. I wish someone would have taken me aside and explained this to me so many years ago. It would have made for an easier teenage, young adult, and career experience.
For me, emotions were always things imaginative state. To have them and express them made you "dramatic." "Too much" "Too loud" "Over the top" Maybe you've heard these same things or at least similar ideas. Maybe, like me, you subscribed to these ideas and they became your beliefs.
Fast forward to 2015. I had just gotten married a few months prior. It was supposed to be the happiest time of my life, right? But it wasn't. My soul dog, my heart dog had just passed away unexpectedly. We got a cancer diagnosis on Friday and by Monday he was gone. Cancer. The one thing I had changed my lifestyle, his lifestyle in the name of preventing it. It felt like a huge blow to everything I was newly understanding. Because all of the prevention ways, went against normal culture at the time. "No chemicals, natural foods, exercise, build immunity over poisons. Recognize poisons in our homes and stores." It was a complete re-invention on fo the way I lived and to be honest, I was the only person I knew making these "draastic" changes. I was lonely already, but the only one telling me that I was on to something was my pup. I watched him transform from an anxious pup to a confident best friend. All from following these "wildly crazy" Naturpathic and Homeopathic ways.
To lose him, felt like I had lost my sole supporter. I was lost. And then I find out that same week, that I'm pregnant! I was so not ready to hear those words. My heart was so broken from loving so hard, how can I just flip a switch and do it all over again?
This pregnancy was a hard one from the start. Morning sickness was not just a "morning" thing. It was a all day, every day, if I stopped moving hit me like a Mack truck kind of-nausea morning sickness.
At this same time I was just starting to learn about essential oils and this company called doTerra. I was still convinced that I had to go to their Convention in Sept 2015 and see if this company was truly as good as they sounded. Looking back, I see God's hands all over this one. Every convention they release new products, the pinnacle release that year? An entire Emotional Aromatherapy kit. I looked at Ryan and said, "I have to have this." I didn't know what it was, but I knew I needed help. And I was about to need a whole lot more.
Well turns out God did have other plans and took my first baby to live with him after just 12 weeks. Back to back shatterings. I called my mom and asked her how many times in a week could I call her in desperation, balling my eyes out.
All happening to a person who didn't "believe" in emotions. But here I was. I couldn't get off the couch for four months. I remember telling my husband "I feel like I'm rotting away here. I need some help." I remembered what I had heard at that convention a few months back. The first step I felt a nudge to take was to start looking at the training that was being included with that kit.
These little words changed the course of my healing, my self-esteem, my growth, my life. I hope they help you the same:
"Emotions are information carrying molecules that bind to and react with receptors on our cell walls."
EMOTIONS ARE CHEMICAL MESSENGERS in our bodies! EMOTIONS are really freaking real, tangible things that have physical implications for our health. They are REAL! They are REALLY real! They weren't just all in my head. I haven't just been making them up for attention. I feel truly broken, shattered, life will never be the same, lost, unbelievably lost, drowning, but BUT there is hope!
And ignoring them causes a whole host of physical and mental well-being issues. I didn't realize at this point of time just how much my family needed this lesson....
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